Eyes With Fire Will See Light Everywhere

Most men and boys love driving either bikes or cars, somehow since my childhood I was afraid of driving. I was sacred to death. Not that I was afraid of death but afraid of living artificially. Somehow deep down in my head I always thought I could not handle speeds. The idea that I would be in a uncontrollable situation drove me crazy. I love to seat in the front seats of a F-1 car or with someone who drives at 140 miles/hour however my mind does not think in speeds while I am driving. It took me 12 years to ride a bicycle. I still cannot drive manually controlled bikes or cars. For me, driving a bike or car in India is not at all possible. In US,the speeds on the freeways get the shit out of me. I went to a driving school and the trainers did not leave a single day without cursing me in their minds and shouting literally while I was driving on the roads. They are not so good teachers. They did not understood me. I read lot of articles to study the phobia of driving. I felt normal w...

When we shared a vehicle I waited for you to come and pick me up every time, practicing the same questions over and over. Where do we go? What do you want? A wild thing? A companion? A husband? I will give it. I will be that. Anything. For you. Such is the way you only taught me love in the absence of it. In the end, begging. PS: Everyone else isn't you. It turns out that's a huge problem for me.

It’s 9:40 am and I’m sitting on my bed absorbing the chaos in my mind. Believe me, even I’m surprised. I’m still alive somedays. Lately you remind me of a wild thing chewing through its foot. But you are already free and I don’t know what to do except trace the twinkle in your eyes while you smile and try not to place blame.  Here is the truth: It is hard to be in love with someone who is in love someone else. I don’t know how to turn that into poetry.

My recent dating with ping pong game has taught me a good lesson. I never used to appreciated Ping pong game as I find it much difficult to hit the balls within the table space. But the more I played, the more I enjoyed it. Now every time I see a ping pong table, my hands just go for the pads. As people, we tend to have different opinions and assumptions that are mostly untested, unexperienced and never derived through proper data. For example, If someone says, I don't like playing keyboard and if we query him/her  for the reasons, they will come up with weird stuff explaining someone else opinion or a popular social belief. The most common reason is I tried it but I did not liked it. If we still probe into that reasoning,with a question, how many times you have tried?. The answer will always be around 1-2 times. As per Malcolm Galdwell, we need to practice at least 10000 hours to become expert in any given field. I agree not everyone wants to become expert but is it enough to...

The other day,I was watching a video about the history of encryption. I was hit by the idea that we have a pattern in the way we communicate. I never observed.So, all the decryption techniques are the way to find that pattern that leads to access to the secret information. So, I came back to my blog and read the previous posts and then read the emails to see whether I can find a pattern in the way I communicate.I believe breaking my encryption message would be like a child's play. It's so predictable and monotonous. Damn it !!!!!!. It hurts being predictable. I tried to change the pattern but it is affecting the flow of the communication.Changing an existing behavior is a costly affair. PS:The patterns of our lives reveal us. Our habits measure us. Our battles with our habits speak of dreams yet to become real.

Last year just before thanksgiving day, my ex-boss called me to inform that he could not able to hire me as a full time employee due to financial constraints he had and asked me to look for other options. No big deal right? However if we add constraints like need to find an visa sponsoring employer within 2 months, study expenditure, not willing to go back to previous boring job, no clue of where to head after graduation, the thought of kissing bankruptcy, then it would become tough. Anyhow, I listened, smiled and said Thank you. I was not afraid because I knew how to play the game. I was just skeptical whether I could make it within the time as holiday season was round the corner. Went downstairs, shared the news with the friends and then started to look for opportunities. After XXX of applications,YY of calls and Z interviews, I got a job in less than 50 days. Awesome!!! The biggest takeaway I learnt in last one year is that life pushes you into hurdles, you have to solve ...

After lot of testing,re-testing and profound analysis, I found happiness in the following three activities: 1. Solving problems 2. Creating something 3. Helping others Apart from above activities, none of the remaining activities gave me happiness. They might have given me peace and sleep but not happiness. One of my mentor said to me: Chakri, a tree requires water to grow but after reaching certain stage even though it requires water, it should give fruits to survive. Otherwise it will be cut down. It's time for you to create value. I guess he is right. It's time for me to create value not because I have to survive but because I decided to be happy.