Eyes With Fire Will See Light Everywhere

I am scared of my past. Not that I do not have any good memories. Thinking about my past makes me vulnerable. I agree that Who we are today is the outcome of our past. But I do not like to peak into it every now and then since It has become new and different. It's not the part that belongs to me anymore. It left me.

Rockstar and Tamasha are two of my favorite movies. These two movies are very close to my heart. My life has transformed during the time frame between the releases of these films. I blogged about my life after the release of Rockstar here . From that day on life was never the same. A journey worth the time and effort. It had all the ingredients: frustrations, insecurities, fear, love, inabilities,craziness, kindness,obsessions, poetry, moving out of comfort zone, peace, hard kills, soft kills, exhaustion, bravery, confidence and confrontations. I thought of writing a detailed post on the entire experience but realized that some things are beautiful when unsaid. I want to conclude the post by sharing this: You will come to see suffering that will break your heart. When this happens and it will, don't turn away from it, turn towards it. This is the moment when transformation is born.

I wrote in the MBA admission essays that one day I want to become a social entrepreneur, helping people realize their dreams thus improving their economics. There are couple of strong reasons behind that: 1. I have seen my friends especially girls, who are still working full time in the Kitchen irrespective of their intelligence just because their parents cannot afford to pay for their education. 2. I used to wait for my father at his work place. He works for a micro lending bank. People used to come for loans for smaller amounts to just start small business and he would always send them back. I did not like the disappointment look in their faces. Economics and education are two things that will eliminate poverty in the long run. Finally I got a chance to help people realize their dreams. I am working with Mentors.org to help small businesses. My goal for 2016 is to help 12 small businesses in a country in Central America. I am privileged to be received so many things in life....

After completing MBA and starting my career in the field I love, I finally checked off all the items in the bucket list. With contentment and happiness, I teared off the bucket list sheet. It felt so good. Even if I die today, I have no major regrets in my life. After tearing the bucket list, I decided not to have any bucket list, I wanted to go with the flow of the life and take life as it comes. The initial 3-4 months were really good.It's like first phase of retirement: simple, less burdensome, nothing to lose and happy phase, and then slowly vacuum started entering into the life. One Sunday morning, I was just sitting on my bed with nothing to do.I sat motionless, directionless and aimless.I felt alone and lonely. Questions like what to do with life ? what's in store for me ? popped up again and again. I did not pay attention to them. I don't want to prepare and work on another bucket list. I am afraid of pursuing another bucket list as it takes huge emotional str...

People always attribute things that they cannot do are tough and things they can do are very easy and anyone can do it. Two weeks back, I called one of my friends in India.He was surprised that I called him from USA to just say "Hi". At the end of the conversation, he also mentioned that "It's so nice of me to not forget him, even though I went to US, became highly sophisticated and started giving me power and in turn he became powerless." This guy was much smarter than me during school days and was (is) very humble and always try to help others as much as he can. Being seen him powerless,I felt sad. I grew up in a place where there was continuous drought for many years. So, every day, when I go home after tuition class, my mother would be ready with two water cans to get drinking water. I tie the two cans and put them on the bicycle, bike to the near by water supply station, stand in the queue for my turn to get water. There was a girl in my class,much...

Read the following poem somewhere. Intriguing lines.Totally different perspective.Kudos to the person who wrote it. There is so much talk  of being left but it is hard to be the one  who does the leaving. It is not nothing to pack a suitcase. It is not nothing  to see good love wasted, or waiting, and believe it belongs to you.

My Indian friends always ask me why do I hike? So, I thought about the answer. I am excited about it at any given day. When I questioned myself, why am I excited ? The only answer I get is "Sense of Accomplishment." Every time, I hike and look back at the mountain, I cherish that moment. I get this feeling "Whoa!!!! I did that.Its awesome.Its huge." When I see the tangible results of what I do, its brings tremendous sense of accomplishment and my confidence rises. That's one of the primary reasons I started learning pottery too.I can see things that are built with my own hands irrespective of how awkward or beautiful they are. Creating and hiking are beautiful experiences. They improve acceptance, empathy, patience and confidence levels. On contrary, my international friends never ask me why I go for hike? Instead they ask me where did I go ? If I say I hiked at Zion, they just say isn't it cool? :) PS: People always has this notion that the ones that...