Eyes With Fire Will See Light Everywhere

I wrote in the MBA admission essays that one day I want to become a social entrepreneur, helping people realize their dreams thus improving their economics. There are couple of strong reasons behind that: 1. I have seen my friends especially girls, who are still working full time in the Kitchen irrespective of their intelligence just because their parents cannot afford to pay for their education. 2. I used to wait for my father at his work place. He works for a micro lending bank. People used to come for loans for smaller amounts to just start small business and he would always send them back. I did not like the disappointment look in their faces. Economics and education are two things that will eliminate poverty in the long run. Finally I got a chance to help people realize their dreams. I am working with Mentors.org to help small businesses. My goal for 2016 is to help 12 small businesses in a country in Central America. I am privileged to be received so many things in life....

After completing MBA and starting my career in the field I love, I finally checked off all the items in the bucket list. With contentment and happiness, I teared off the bucket list sheet. It felt so good. Even if I die today, I have no major regrets in my life. After tearing the bucket list, I decided not to have any bucket list, I wanted to go with the flow of the life and take life as it comes. The initial 3-4 months were really good.It's like first phase of retirement: simple, less burdensome, nothing to lose and happy phase, and then slowly vacuum started entering into the life. One Sunday morning, I was just sitting on my bed with nothing to do.I sat motionless, directionless and aimless.I felt alone and lonely. Questions like what to do with life ? what's in store for me ? popped up again and again. I did not pay attention to them. I don't want to prepare and work on another bucket list. I am afraid of pursuing another bucket list as it takes huge emotional str...

People always attribute things that they cannot do are tough and things they can do are very easy and anyone can do it. Two weeks back, I called one of my friends in India.He was surprised that I called him from USA to just say "Hi". At the end of the conversation, he also mentioned that "It's so nice of me to not forget him, even though I went to US, became highly sophisticated and started giving me power and in turn he became powerless." This guy was much smarter than me during school days and was (is) very humble and always try to help others as much as he can. Being seen him powerless,I felt sad. I grew up in a place where there was continuous drought for many years. So, every day, when I go home after tuition class, my mother would be ready with two water cans to get drinking water. I tie the two cans and put them on the bicycle, bike to the near by water supply station, stand in the queue for my turn to get water. There was a girl in my class,much...

Read the following poem somewhere. Intriguing lines.Totally different perspective.Kudos to the person who wrote it. There is so much talk  of being left but it is hard to be the one  who does the leaving. It is not nothing to pack a suitcase. It is not nothing  to see good love wasted, or waiting, and believe it belongs to you.

My Indian friends always ask me why do I hike? So, I thought about the answer. I am excited about it at any given day. When I questioned myself, why am I excited ? The only answer I get is "Sense of Accomplishment." Every time, I hike and look back at the mountain, I cherish that moment. I get this feeling "Whoa!!!! I did that.Its awesome.Its huge." When I see the tangible results of what I do, its brings tremendous sense of accomplishment and my confidence rises. That's one of the primary reasons I started learning pottery too.I can see things that are built with my own hands irrespective of how awkward or beautiful they are. Creating and hiking are beautiful experiences. They improve acceptance, empathy, patience and confidence levels. On contrary, my international friends never ask me why I go for hike? Instead they ask me where did I go ? If I say I hiked at Zion, they just say isn't it cool? :) PS: People always has this notion that the ones that...

In the closing lines of the story "What we talk about when we talk about love"  Raymond Carver  says: I  could hear my heart beating. I could hear everyone's heart. I could hear the human noise we sat there making, not one of us moving, not even when the room went dark. When we read the book, its about finding that heart beating.It has been long time, I felt like that after reading a book : deeply connected, tears after reading it, completely satisfied, joy in the face, feeling human again. The other day, I felt similar emotion after watching the movie "Begin again". Best songs I have heard in recent times, best music, best performances, best screenplay. Thanks   John Carney for making me cry and writing/directing such a subtle story. PS: After watching the movie, I felt like going to Newyork again. (The movie is completely shot at NY downtown)

I worked with lot of competent and courageous people (most of them were my bosses).They have great things to talk about me. It's hard for me to see those qualities with my own senses. I have been like that not sure of what I can or what I can't. Most of the people are like that. When you enter a B-school, the first thing they do is to make you run across different tools and algorithms and categorize(restrict) your strengths and weakness into different bucket based on 150-200 questions and then the career coaches try to make believe them. The end goal is to turn you from uncertainty to  certainty even if there is chance of going wrong. Why do they do that ? Simple, if you are certain in the direction you wanted to go then nurturing that wouldn't be difficult. You cannot get a man to a place where he don't know where to go.I used the output of those tools in my resume but never completely believed in them. My philosophy is that given right conditions and support anybod...

Trying to maintain control in this life is like trying to maintain control on a roller coaster ride. The ride has its own logic and is going to go its own way, regardless of how tightly you grip the bar. There is a thrill and joy in simply surrendering to the ride and fully feeling the ups and downs of it rather than fighting them. When you fight the ride, resisting what’s happening at every turn, your whole being becomes tense and anxiety. When you go with the ride, accepting what you cannot control, freedom and joy will inevitably arise. As with so many seemingly simple things in life, it is not always easy to let go, even of the things we know we can’t control. Most of us feel a great discomfort with the givens of this life, one of which is the fact that much of the time we have no control over what happens. Sometimes this awareness comes only when we have a stark encounter with this fact, and all our attempts to be in control are revealed to be unnecessary burdens.  W...

Most men and boys love driving either bikes or cars, somehow since my childhood I was afraid of driving. I was sacred to death. Not that I was afraid of death but afraid of living artificially. Somehow deep down in my head I always thought I could not handle speeds. The idea that I would be in a uncontrollable situation drove me crazy. I love to seat in the front seats of a F-1 car or with someone who drives at 140 miles/hour however my mind does not think in speeds while I am driving. It took me 12 years to ride a bicycle. I still cannot drive manually controlled bikes or cars. For me, driving a bike or car in India is not at all possible. In US,the speeds on the freeways get the shit out of me. I went to a driving school and the trainers did not leave a single day without cursing me in their minds and shouting literally while I was driving on the roads. They are not so good teachers. They did not understood me. I read lot of articles to study the phobia of driving. I felt normal w...

When we shared a vehicle I waited for you to come and pick me up every time, practicing the same questions over and over. Where do we go? What do you want? A wild thing? A companion? A husband? I will give it. I will be that. Anything. For you. Such is the way you only taught me love in the absence of it. In the end, begging. PS: Everyone else isn't you. It turns out that's a huge problem for me.

It’s 9:40 am and I’m sitting on my bed absorbing the chaos in my mind. Believe me, even I’m surprised. I’m still alive somedays. Lately you remind me of a wild thing chewing through its foot. But you are already free and I don’t know what to do except trace the twinkle in your eyes while you smile and try not to place blame.  Here is the truth: It is hard to be in love with someone who is in love someone else. I don’t know how to turn that into poetry.

My recent dating with ping pong game has taught me a good lesson. I never used to appreciated Ping pong game as I find it much difficult to hit the balls within the table space. But the more I played, the more I enjoyed it. Now every time I see a ping pong table, my hands just go for the pads. As people, we tend to have different opinions and assumptions that are mostly untested, unexperienced and never derived through proper data. For example, If someone says, I don't like playing keyboard and if we query him/her  for the reasons, they will come up with weird stuff explaining someone else opinion or a popular social belief. The most common reason is I tried it but I did not liked it. If we still probe into that reasoning,with a question, how many times you have tried?. The answer will always be around 1-2 times. As per Malcolm Galdwell, we need to practice at least 10000 hours to become expert in any given field. I agree not everyone wants to become expert but is it enough to...

The other day,I was watching a video about the history of encryption. I was hit by the idea that we have a pattern in the way we communicate. I never observed.So, all the decryption techniques are the way to find that pattern that leads to access to the secret information. So, I came back to my blog and read the previous posts and then read the emails to see whether I can find a pattern in the way I communicate.I believe breaking my encryption message would be like a child's play. It's so predictable and monotonous. Damn it !!!!!!. It hurts being predictable. I tried to change the pattern but it is affecting the flow of the communication.Changing an existing behavior is a costly affair. PS:The patterns of our lives reveal us. Our habits measure us. Our battles with our habits speak of dreams yet to become real.

Last year just before thanksgiving day, my ex-boss called me to inform that he could not able to hire me as a full time employee due to financial constraints he had and asked me to look for other options. No big deal right? However if we add constraints like need to find an visa sponsoring employer within 2 months, study expenditure, not willing to go back to previous boring job, no clue of where to head after graduation, the thought of kissing bankruptcy, then it would become tough. Anyhow, I listened, smiled and said Thank you. I was not afraid because I knew how to play the game. I was just skeptical whether I could make it within the time as holiday season was round the corner. Went downstairs, shared the news with the friends and then started to look for opportunities. After XXX of applications,YY of calls and Z interviews, I got a job in less than 50 days. Awesome!!! The biggest takeaway I learnt in last one year is that life pushes you into hurdles, you have to solve ...