Life without goals
After completing MBA and starting my career in the field I love, I finally checked off all the items in the bucket list. With contentment and happiness, I teared off the bucket list sheet. It felt so good. Even if I die today, I have no major regrets in my life. After tearing the bucket list, I decided not to have any bucket list, I wanted to go with the flow of the life and take life as it comes.
The initial 3-4 months were really good.It's like first phase of retirement: simple, less burdensome, nothing to lose and happy phase, and then slowly vacuum started entering into the life. One Sunday morning, I was just sitting on my bed with nothing to do.I sat motionless, directionless and aimless.I felt alone and lonely. Questions like what to do with life ? what's in store for me ? popped up again and again. I did not pay attention to them. I don't want to prepare and work on another bucket list.
I am afraid of pursuing another bucket list as it takes huge emotional stress to achieve what you want.It is like a fight. Imagine being in such a state of emotional disrepair that literally nothing makes you happy until you get want you want.You are in pain, CONSTANT pain, because all you can think of was results and transforming yourself to get them. It's literally all your mind will focus on. It refuses to focus on anything else at all. That's why Buddha told desires are root cause of miseries. But without desires/goals, you cannot have an active life.
One day, I went to see a friend's performance in ICE skating. He is preparing in US for Olympics to represent India in ICE skating. It's 8 am on a Saturday morning, with freaking cold outside and people inside the training facility were practicing. Of course, Olympic aspirants shouldn't been lazy at the first place. It had a huge effect on me. The atmosphere was so lively,energizing and active.As some one rightly said, "The seconds you're engaged in your pursuit are the seconds that you're happy." Enjoy the ride."
I felt like I was moving away from what I am. I can't enjoy a routine life with no twists and challenges along the way.Having a routine life scares me more than the pain to endure to attain a goal.I reopened the bucket list and started updating it,this time with much bigger and riskier goals.#Excited #Fun #Beautiful #alive.
The initial 3-4 months were really good.It's like first phase of retirement: simple, less burdensome, nothing to lose and happy phase, and then slowly vacuum started entering into the life. One Sunday morning, I was just sitting on my bed with nothing to do.I sat motionless, directionless and aimless.I felt alone and lonely. Questions like what to do with life ? what's in store for me ? popped up again and again. I did not pay attention to them. I don't want to prepare and work on another bucket list.
I am afraid of pursuing another bucket list as it takes huge emotional stress to achieve what you want.It is like a fight. Imagine being in such a state of emotional disrepair that literally nothing makes you happy until you get want you want.You are in pain, CONSTANT pain, because all you can think of was results and transforming yourself to get them. It's literally all your mind will focus on. It refuses to focus on anything else at all. That's why Buddha told desires are root cause of miseries. But without desires/goals, you cannot have an active life.
One day, I went to see a friend's performance in ICE skating. He is preparing in US for Olympics to represent India in ICE skating. It's 8 am on a Saturday morning, with freaking cold outside and people inside the training facility were practicing. Of course, Olympic aspirants shouldn't been lazy at the first place. It had a huge effect on me. The atmosphere was so lively,energizing and active.As some one rightly said, "The seconds you're engaged in your pursuit are the seconds that you're happy." Enjoy the ride."
I felt like I was moving away from what I am. I can't enjoy a routine life with no twists and challenges along the way.Having a routine life scares me more than the pain to endure to attain a goal.I reopened the bucket list and started updating it,this time with much bigger and riskier goals.#Excited #Fun #Beautiful #alive.
Comments